Why do you write?
Is it because you have a story inside you? Is it because it defines you? Or is it because within your own story is the only place you feel alive?
Today, among the myriad of reasons I take to the pages of my story, I’m writing to hurt.
That’s right. You did read correctly. Today I’m writing to feel pain.
Too heavy?
The weight we as writers bare on our shoulders will always outweigh that of the world that surrounds us. This is the nature of being an author, because at all times we carry two worlds upon them.
Our stories; our creations; our children exist within the pages we weave. We see in them possibilities, and instill in them hopes. And as we develop our characters, we realize in them truths within ourselves.
For some people, they find strength and courage that they were too afraid to show. For others, they find the little monster best kept in the closet (perhaps just far enough to see Narnia). And for some of us, when we find ourselves forced to confront the demons within our pages, we find pain locked away so tight that we convinced ourselves it was never there to begin with.
Today I’m writing about such pain within in my protagonist, and I find myself wanting to have him run from it. To have him hide. I want to comfort him as I would myself be comforted. So the question becomes “How do I keep writing when doing so breaks my heart?”
The only answer I can offer is because you must!
The story and all that comes with it- the pain, the joy, the good and the bad, all of it is alive.
It breathes, it thinks, it feels and it grows. It is your child, and it will become what you will it to be. But for all that it can become, it won’t ever if you, the writer, can’t guide it to its fullest potential.
Your story is an extension of yourself, and so in writing you must be willing to confront yourself. You must push past the walls of your heart and accept every part of it.
You will hurt. You will cry. There will even be times you’d rather throw your book away instead of confronting the pain that awaits within it. But for all those negative feelings there is even more joy. In giving to your story the pain you keep within it will gift back to you joy that you did not have. In opening yourself to your story, it will love you for all its worth.
It’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to move on and work on other things. Your story will always wait for you. Just don’t run away.
Never forget, the story you write is the greatest gift you could ever give yourself, because with every line you write; each time your story grows, so too will you.
Dream – Imagine – Create
A.
P.S:. I’m WAY behind on where I’d like to be for my Short Story Challenge, but I’ll try my best to have it finished and up by 5pm!
A Life Imagined 